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10/10/05 06:14 pm - A Dream is a Wish Your Arse Makes

I'm fucking moving to the city before this year is out. Not being a fan of public transport in the first place, imagine my reaction when a friend text me to tell me that all the train services into town had been suspended. I was already running late at this point, so the thought of having to sit on a bus for the best part of two hours just to get to uni for one lecture wasn't particularly appealing. I was just about to go back to bed when my mother offered to take me halfway, since she was going food shopping, but in the end up she took me all the way to the union, where I bought coffee and then went to my class, escaping the horrible weather completely -- yay!

I'm really enjoying university this time around, which is fabulous. So far, my courses are interesting and I'm already feeling like a smart arse in my arts & media informatics class, since I completed our first assignment streets ahead of everybody else (while trying to go 'slowly' so as to appear as though I was really taking it all in). It's basic scripting, though, and I've done it all before. The stuff my tutor is covering right now is stuff I taught myself at least five years ago. I'm having fun getting back into it all, though.

I haven't been doing anything particularly exciting outwith work and university (which are, obviously, extremely gripping in their own, special ways). Work is ... fine. The same as it always is. I'm being made to wear a horrible royal blue baseball cap which I had retired months ago to the back of my wardrobe with all my other scary blunders in fashion (not that this one was my fault). However, now that my superviser is back from her (extended) maternity leave, doing a whopping 28 hours a week and managing to escape with only one weekend shift per week, it is being made clear that wearing this horrific hat is completely mandatory at all times. What fun. Other than the hat, it's fine. Fiona and I continue to dance around the kitchen to 80s classics while the guys out front complain that we're having too much fun. Yeah, well, unlike most of you, we're actually doing something productive -- it's just that we are fabulous and can multi-task. I love Fiona. She makes work (as much) fun (as possible). In between dancing to Men at Work, Gloria Gaynor, Michael Jackson, Kylie, Madonna and Bros, Fiona and I teamed up with Angela and Katie to work on our effort to list all the songs in the world in which the word 'heart' can successfully be replaced with the word 'arse'. In previous years, we have made dull days interesting by exchanging 'girl' for 'squirrel' (ie. Usher's You Remind Me ... of a squirrel that I once knew; Van Morrison's Brown Eyed Squirrel) and 'eyes' for 'boobs' (ie. Ultrabeat's Pretty Green Boobs; Frankie Valli's Can't Take My Boobs Off of You).
It turns out that switching 'heart' for 'arse' is even more hilarious ...Collapse )

I went to the cinema twice last week, which is a record for me. I haven't been really into it in a long time. These days I tend to prefer to wait and rent movies when they become available on video. Natz and I went to see Pride & Prejudice, which was such a nice film. No tits, arses or questionable humour. I would say it'd be nice if all films were in the style of P&P, but then it'd take away the nice warm feeling I get when I leave the cinema after seeing such a film, with a rare pleasant feeling throughout. Keira Knightley was wonderful. The guy who played Mr Darcy was a little ... odd-looking (not so much in general; just when considering the part he was selected to play) and I think he overdid the moody thing just a tad but other than that, it was excellent. I then ruined it by going to see The Forty Year Old Virgin with Emma a couple of days later. It was actually very entertaining, despite my being sure that it would be shite before I'd even bought the tickets. Some of it was pretty predictable, but there were genuinely funny parts too.

As I had made it clear that I was suddenly in the mood to dance, Wednesday night, I ended up in Tunnel, after consuming a bottle of red wine and copius amount of fags (which was, presumably, what brought on said feeling). It was absolutely packed, and yet I still managed to run into an ex-workmate who lives in town now, and whom I can't stand. It obviously wasn't busy enough, then. She also managed to find me THREE subsequent times, despite my best efforts to hide in particularly over-populated areas of the club. She also insisted on swapping new numbers, but I just took hers and told her I'd give her a call 'sometime', so ... that's a bit of a relief. I had a good night, but I learned that it is most definitely true what they say about men: you wait and wait for silly amounts of time, and then they all come along at once. I was standing at one of the columns-cum-arm rest areas at the back of the club having a drink when this (blonde -- so something I'd tend to have to think about, anyway) guy came up to me and wanted to shake my hand. I thought it was rather an old-fashioned gesture for an underground club on gay night, but I obliged anyway, as anyone would do, and before I could even get a word in, he tried to kiss me. I pulled away, purely due to surprise, and he seemed offended, but kept pursuing it. I spent the rest of the night wiping my face with my hands -- handy tip for clubbers everywhere: do not attempt to move away too quickly when someone facially attacks you with their tongue. It only results in slobber. Honestly, if you're going to run up to total strangers and start kissing them without so much as an introduction, at least learn how to kiss first. Being attractive doesn't let you away with it, I'm afraid.

9/26/05 10:57 pm

Why is it that when the time comes to have a new passport (-sized) photograph taken, one's hair is always a disaster and one always sprouts three new spots the day before?

As if the picture wasn't traumatic enough (note to self: next time, follow on-screen instructions to adjust seat, rather than assuming it's fine the way it is, thus eliminating the possibility of appearing in photograph as though am actually squashed against the screen) ... £191.00 for a ten week travel pass borders on the ridiculous. So, armed with my new pass and shite picture, I waited for Laura and we got on our way to go visit some lovely old ladies she befriended during her nursing placement earlier this year. I had agreed to this last night, unfortunately -- when I wasn't aware that the weather would be so appalling. Today had to be one of the worst days we've had in recent months. Got absolutely drenched; ended up seeking refuge in what was surely the shittiest pub in Britain; lasted for only one drink before we decided that not even shelter from umbrella-breaking (yes) winds and heavy rain was worth the smell of piss and old men combined with a widescreen TV showing some kind of horseracing and ... the worst cocktail menu in the history of the world. Came back on the train and had a very late lunch. At 4.45pm. I got home at about half past six, and no sooner had I stepped through the front door, Emma called me to ask if I wanted to join her and Siobhan for a drink. I knew it. It happens every time. I felt I had to decline, since I couldn't face the thought of leaving the house again. Ugh. What a horrible day.

I've been in bed since 8pm, tucked up all nice and warm, since it's fucking freezing even with the heating on full. I watched 'I Heart Huckabees'. So funny. That film is so very random and totally stupid, but in a charming way.

Tomorrow is my first day back at uni. This year I'm studying Arts and Media Informatics, which is about computers, digital art, design, web development and programming (so shag me!) and Classical Civilisation, which is about, er, Greek and Roman shit. I was sort of hurried into choosing another class, since my original choice -- History of Art -- was fully booked for this semester. I'll do that some other time. I'm not picking up English until January, so I have a whole day off (yay!) every week, and my earliest class is at 2pm, as far as I'm aware.

9/25/05 10:22 pm - I walked a dog! (Almost)

I finally managed to see my adviser at university on Friday afternoon, after having gone all the way there both on Tuesday and Thursday, only to be told that she was too busy to see anyone without an appointment (which is when I began to question the method behind her 'don't make an appointment, just show up' email ...). I had to make an appointment for Friday, but it meant I didn't have to get up and leave the house until 11am. Afterwards, I met Natalie in the city centre to help her pick out (sex) pants for her to take to London. We went for lunch at Monster Mash in the west end -- apparently, it's shit hot, but I wasn't overly impressed. It was supposed to be British-themed, yet we were stuck in a booth, which made it feel American, but also made it feel shite because I wanted to sit upstairs at the window and watch the beautiful, rich people walk past, and instead we were carted straight to the back of the restaurant. I was boring and ordered macaroni, since I wasn't in the mood for their trademark sausage and mash combination. Tried some of Natzy's black pudding mash, though, which was disturbingly good. Went to Fopp, I had to hold back the tears, since they had a sale on and I couldn't afford to buy anything, and then we went to Offshore to spy on the hot baristas again. Yay.

Saturday, I stayed home all day and watched some films, and Laura came over briefly on Saturday night; she left at about 10.30 so she could get to bed early and be up in time to go airsofting this morning. However, that fell through, so I met her for coffee and to 'help her' walk her dog this afternoon. I'm not good with dogs, but I took it for a stroll, anyway (or rather, it took me). Deceptively strong animal, for being small and relatively thin. She's a barrel of laughs, though.

Tomorrow, I'm going shopping -- fuck it. I need to.

(Edit: forgot to say ... doesn't Laura's bag remind you of a Louis Vuitton? Not that I can think of any fashion heads who read this, except you, Paul, possibly. It just screams Vuitton. Except that in reality it was purchased from Paperchase for £25.)
PicturesCollapse )

9/21/05 11:31 pm - A clean desk

I finally cleaned and organised my desk.

I should really have taken a 'before' photo. It was horrific. Nice and organised, now. Yay. Plus, I got this beautiful new Hermès diary today. *Orgasms*

But my calendar has met the wrath of the Scottish weather, and its location next to the window has proven a mistake ..."

It appears to be permanently curled at the edges.

Went with Laura this afternoon to see Michelle and Gavin's new flat. It's in the same building as Natalie's last flat, so I had already prepared myself for the cat piss smell in the elevator, and Laura had brought a room deodoriser with her, just in case. It wasn't too bad, though. Their new flat is gorgeous. They haven't finished decorating yet, but it looks lovely. Michelle has a new kitten called Tigger (aww). I fucking hate cats, but this little guy is cute, and fluffy, and very quiet. I like him.

(Vikki with Shelle's pussy.)

Edit: I'm officially more jealous than I can ever remember being, and more so than I am comfortable being. Just had a text from Natalie. She's just been scraped off the barrier by security at the front of the Babyshambles gig in Greenock, SHAKEN HANDS WITH PETE DOHERTY and been whisked off to the aftershow party. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Why didn't I go to this? I'm sure there was a reason.

9/20/05 10:28 pm - Alive again!

Finally, I have ventured again into what could be described at least as a somewhat active life.

Saturday I went out to lunch with my parents. It was my mother's birthday, so I made the effort to actually get dressed and leave the house. The main meal was pleasant enough, and I had a nice time, but unfortunately the restaurant we chose (in a town about 20 minutes drive away) had been taken over since I was last there, by the same group of restaurants/hotels which runs a hotel near me, where I often eat/have coffee with my friends. The menu was exactly the same, and it's a pretty limiting menu. Mostly everything has red meat or fish in it, neither of which I eat, and I wasn't in the mood for chicken (least of all a chicken pie) so I opted for a dolcelatte and pear lattice tart. Half of our (shared) starter of Mediterranean flatbread was missing the peppers and goats cheese which the other half had, so we had to return that, and our coffee after the meal was cold. Plus, the service was shite. I don't think I'll be going back. It's got the same ridiculous system as aforementioned local hotel -- customers have to place their order at a 'food bar'; the waiting staff only have to bring the food/drinks to the table. I don't understand it. It annoys me. Must be a piss easy job, though.

Saturday night, Laura came with my parents and me to the IMAX theatre in the city, to see the Stones Wembley Arena concert on 'a screen bigger than a five-a-side football pitch'. It was fucking fantastic. I wish I had been there, live. They're such an unbelievable band. And Mick Jagger's extensive collection of horrendously shite but fabulous coats is incredible.

Sunday, I met Natz for lunch in the west end, we went for a walk through Kelvingrove Park and had coffee at Offshore, a very trendy coffee house, where it would appear they only hire OTT-gorgeous baristas. The guy looked like Billy from Six Feet Under (unshaven; more than stubble but less than horrible fluffy crap) and hot as fuck, and the girl was just completely stunning -- olive-skinned, maybe-Italian-or-similar: really beautiful, in the most pure and original sense of the word. You don't see much genuine beauty anymore; not in a society where Jordan-esque women are considered beautiful. Ick. The first latte we had wasn't as hot as it should've been (why can nowhere seem to make coffees properly anymore?) but I was so intrigued by the trendy clientele and hot staff that I didn't even bother to complain. Our second was perfect, though, and Natalie is sure that the beautiful girl incorporated this incredible 'heart'-shaped swirl into her froth as a sign that she was available and willing.

Since the weather on Monday was so disguting, I elected not to leave the house all day and had told my friends that I wouldn't be meeting them for a drink later, but come 6pm I was so bored out of my mind that I decided I'd go for a couple of hours ... and of course I was there for four hours, until the pub closed. It was a good laugh, as always, however. I videoed Shiv dancing and pouting, and then pasted M People's Open Your Heart over the original sound. The likeness to Heather Small is uncanny. (NB: M People are playing the Glasgow SECC next month and I have successfully managed to go from almost having to book a ticket for myself to go alone, to talking SIX other people into it. Yay!) I only had four Bacardis in an attempt to take it easy. It worked, but I was still shattered this morning. Still not completely back to normal, then.

Today, I went into the city to talk to my adviser of studies at Uni, but it was a total waste of time because she was out to lunch by the time I got there (left home at 11.30 this morning, and didn't get to her building until 1.15 -- I hate living so damn far away) and I didn't want to stick around until she got back and then have to wait in a horrendous queue. I guess I'll have to go back later in the week and make sure I'm the first one there. If only I didn't have to wait for a nurse to come and fix me every morning. Ran into Suzy and Anne Marie on the subway, which was great, 'cause I hadn't seen them for weeks and weeks. I hung around with them for an hour or so to catch up, then I met Emma for lunch. We were near Natzy's office, so she came along for 45 mins of her lunch break. After she went back to work, I attempted to drag Emma to Offshore to see the hot baristas but since it was four stops away on the subway (and we were already about 20 minutes' walk away from the subway) followed by a walk of roughly 25 minutes, she wasn't up for it. So we had coffee more locally and she volunteered some stories from her sex life. I had an amazing 'toffee nut latte', which I imagine must be fairly new. It was gorgeous. No hearts in the foam, though. Starbucks just doesn't cut it, eh? Before we headed home, Emma insisted on buying not one, not two, but three Jessica Simpson CDs. Just imagine going to the sales counter with these:

Since she doesn't like her voice or her music, this only contributes to mounting evidence that she's a bit of a muff muncher. So far, she has admitted only to being 'intrigued by the female form'. If that isn't lesbian talk, what is?

I bought the new album by Sigur Rós -- for those not in the know; an interesting Icelandic band which I heard about a few weeks ago on the truly wonderful iTunes New Music Tuesday. Their music is very relaxing and a pleasure to listen to. Sort of a mixture of ambience and mild alternative/rock. Or at least that's how I'd describe it, but who knows. It's getting more and more difficult to categorise music. There appear to be new genres being defined every five minutes. It's lovely stuff, anyway. And the packaging is soooo yummy. It's like a little book:

I also bought the new Franz Ferdinand single on vinyl, although it makes no sense because I want to put it on my computer and iPod, and obviously can't, but I'll be buying the new album anyway, plus it was £1.99 and cool as fuck, so I just bought it anyway.

Then I met Laura for coffee (I'm going to turn into a coffee bean one of these days) and a catch-up, and I didn't get home until almost 9pm, leaving me extremely tired.

And now ... My day in picturesCollapse )

9/16/05 06:14 pm - Boredom

I really wish I felt well enough to go out tonight. I badly need a night out. Alas, I barely have enough energy to get dressed into something appropriate for going out. I'm feeling quite blah. I've been feeling lonely, since I've hardly left the house and haven't seen much of anyone but Laura, and so I've been spending a lot of time on the phone to cure my boredom and strong feeling of disconnection from the world (not looking forward to my phone bill ...) but it's much nicer to have a friend present when you're feeling like shit, particularly if there is wine and gossip involved. And Laura is coming over tonight to drink lots of wine and do the obligatory gossip-and-bitch thing. Thank god. I need a big drink, immediately.

As for actually going out, it's my mum's birthday tomorrow so I'm sure we'll be doing something tomorrow night. I've made plans for a couple of 'short' lunches (has to be specified in advance, I feel, since ordinarily the vast majority of my lunches tend to run into liquid events, spanning an average of five hours each, and I just don't think I'd be able to handle that right now) on Sunday and during the week, and a big group of my friends are meeting for drinks on Monday evening, so I'll go along for a little while and see how that goes. At the very least, since it's a weekday, nothing will be open past 12, so that means I won't be in bed past 12.30, and that's much better than going out on a Friday after having not really gone out in almost three weeks and ending up accidentally rolling in at 3am.

9/14/05 11:41 am - To do

There is so much stuff that I need to do. I just can't get myself motivated to actually do it. At least I'm thinking about it.

• Tidy my room (after last, unsuccessful attempt merely resulted in the production of several 'piles' of things on my floor; that's my way of kidding myself that I'm getting organised) ... or at least clear some sort of path so that the cable guy can get to the telly to upgrade my box to digital -- woo! ('Woo!' to digital; not cleaning)

• Rearrange my wardrobe. A once neat and tidy selection of hats, scarves, gloves, ties, belts and other random accessories on the shelving above my wardrobe is now merging into a disastrous -- although admittedly very colourful -- blur. Also, after father offered to put away my clean clothes a couple of weeks ago, there are t-shirts AND a pair of trousers hanging in my shirt compartment; a problem which should have been cleared up long ago. Should probably sort drawers and shoes too.

• Organise my desk. In an attempt not to permanently damage my spine as a result of sitting on my bed using a laptop for hours on end, I should probably fix my desk so that I can sit there and use my computer. Plus, this would mean I could look out of the window while I'm doing it. Might as well do a spot of spying while I'm at it. Included in this 'to do' is the scary, black ringbinder that I threw together a few months ago as a place to house all my bills, payslips from work, bank statements and letters relevent to those things. However, a few months down the line and it is, of course, all over the shop, so I'll have to put everything back in its correct place. I'm frightened to move it, however, as I know there's a wonderful chance that many thousands of bits of paper will fly out and smother me. Le sigh.

• Organise my iPod. Have just updated it with several podcasts which I'm looking forward to relaxing with later, but I can't help but feel that generally it's a bit of a mess. I think I may have to do the unspeakable and wipe it clean so that I can start all over again. It'll mean a lot of ripping CDs back into iTunes, but while I have the time to do it ...

And speaking of iPods, I'm most disheartened that Apple are still churning out new models every five minutes. I feel so behind the times. Although I still love my darling humble 20GB iPod, I must admit that I wish that I had a colour iPod Photo. 60GB would be nice. I feel so guilty. Ack, well, it'll never happen anyway. Not until they come down in price a little, anyway, and I feel more comfortable throwing mine away. *Whistles* And what is this Nano thing all about? I don't like the look of it. I can't believe they've stopped making the Mini only to replace it with this. And I won't even comment on the special edition Harry Potter 20GB model being advertised on Apple's website. There are hardly words.

9/12/05 10:47 pm - Economy toilet paper and more

Oh my. My mother has bought in a six-pack of economy-friendly loo roll. It is like sandpaper. Reminds me of the toilet paper provided in all Greek hotels and apartments, regardless of rating. And kind of makes me want to go on holiday, oddly enough. I must be desperate to get out of the country.

My new phone is annoying me. It claims to have the highest quality integrated digital camera and video recording device of any mobile phone; a claim which I fully believe, but combined with the MP3, radio and 100 million billion colour screen, the end result is a battery life of about five minutes. Grr. I wish these manufacturers would take into consideration the consumers who actually wish to use their products for making phone calls. What a shocking concept.

I am desperate for a fabulous night out with fabulous conversation and lots and lots and lots of drinks. I'm not sure when I'll get it, since I'm still not really fit to go out anywhere too adventurous. Soon, hopefully. I need to get drunk and hear funny stories.

9/12/05 12:16 am

Man, I have the worst ability to keep a journal/site going, don't I? I don't anticipate that anyone still reads this -- if anyone really did in the first place -- but I thought I'd update, since I'm more bored than I can possibly say right now.

I felt I had to change the layout from that horrific 'Sex' one I had before I began properly neglecting this journal. Every time I saw it, it got worse and worse. No disrespect to the fabulous SJP (or Big), of course.

Olivia, this reminds me .. I need to email you. I haven't talked to you in so long. :'( Must sort that.

5/28/05 05:39 pm

Stolen from Stu (And I can't believe that I'm classified as more of a movie whore than he.) ...

Movie whoreCollapse )
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